Melting Landscape

Key doesn’t own Hikaru no Go, blah blah disclaimer blah—sue someone else. This will be an odd Hikaru x Akira piece, starting out shonen-ai and ending who knows where. Anyway, don’t tell me you weren’t warned. Now on with the show!

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It was to be a promotional tour of sorts—two Go players were to be chosen at random for a weeklong trip. It was supposedly to teach some of the more remote towns and villages how to play go, but it was more like an all expenses paid vacation to some of the best ryokan in the Japanese countryside. It was one of the better perks of being a pro player, and some of the older pros viewed it as their right alone.

The uproar started when Shindo Hikaru and Touya Akira’s names were drawn. Two of the new generation who had barely begun to play, some argued, were hardly worthy of such a trip since many of the oldest members of the Go Association had yet to go. After all age was worth something wasn’t it? Touya in particular wouldn’t have minded giving up the trip, as a weeklong stay in such close quarters with the other boy was more akin to his vision of hell than of a dream vacation. Shindo wouldn’t have minded the all expenses paid condition, but the next volume of his favorite manga was coming out that particular week, and it was unlikely at best he’d find it in some of these backwater places.

It should have been the end of it seeing as neither one wanted to go, had a careless man not remarked—and rather loudly, the Touya Akira’s selection had to have been arranged by his father. Infuriated, Touya was not only going to go, but to make Shindo go as well. Under other circumstances Hikaru wouldn’t have gone along with him so easily, but seeing how deeply the remark had wounded him he decided to keep his spot.

Hikaru thought, “I might not enjoy the trip, but those bastards sure as hell don’t deserve to either.”

From the beginning the trip seemed to have been cursed. First the jealous pros, and now the train tracks along their route were being replaced. Instead of a faster and quieter train, they were going to travel instead by way of chartered taxi. Hikaru had hoped that Kawai might end up as their driver so at least it would be a fun ride. The thought of Touya’s reaction to the boisterous cab driver was something he would have loved to see. He was disappointed however, when a rather quiet, dull-looking man emerged from the taxi to open the doors for them. He looked more like he should be driving some wealthy man around in a limousine, not running two kids around in the country. Hikaru sighed loudly and wondered if somehow Touya had managed to personally pick the most boring man in the northern hemisphere to drive them.

Inside the taxi all was quiet. Touya had immediately set to work ignoring Hikaru, burying himself in a rather large, and to Hikaru, uninteresting book. Hikaru had at first put on his headphones, but Touya insisted that even the smallest sound interfered with his reading.

Hikaru spun the wheel down with one angry movement. “There! Now it’s down to one!”

“Neither can I!” Hikaru threw the headset down onto the open pages of Akira’s book.

“Damn it Shindo, grow up!” Akira said, raising his voice for the first time.

“I’m sorry that I can’t concentrate when there’s that much noise. Most people have manners enough to be considerate of the people they are traveling with,” the anger in his voice was obvious, but he hadn’t yelled as loudly as Hikaru had.

“Urrghhhhh…” Hikaru couldn’t begin to hide the disgust in his voice as he shoved his CD player back into his backpack. “Now that I can’t offend your super human hearing powers any more I’m going to take a nap.”

“Do what you want,” Touya was already tired of the argument and looked back down to find his place.

“Oh! And don’t for get to wake me up if I start to snore, Superman! I might stop you from saving the world!” Hikaru laughed loudly, laying his head done on his backpack.

Touya merely glared at him, muttering something like, “Damned Shindo,” under his breath. Akira sighed inwardly. Shindo looked innocent enough when he was sleeping, but he was a holy terror while he was awake.

“No,” he thought, “he was being kind of quiet today. I’m the one who’s been antagonizing him. Why can’t I get along with him for just a little while?” He sighed audibly this time,“I can’t lie to myself. I’m afraid if he found out how I really feel he might despise me. We might fight now, but I still get to see him.”

Touya paused to watch Hikaru--he’d moved as if to pull an imaginary blanket close around him. It was all he could do to restrain himself from wrapping his arms around Hikaru.“Even if it’s all I can do, Hikaru, I want to see you.”

The road grew noticeably rougher and Akira put away the book he’d held little interest in. The road would be a long one, and Touya wouldn’t be able to do anything as long as he was so near. At the time it seemed the only reasonable thing to do was sleep. If Akira had known how close he’d come to never waking up he might have chosen another option.

At first it seemed to Touya that his Mother had forgotten the miso soup again, bubbling over the top and burning itself down into a film of charcoal. But on waking just slightly more and remembering his Mother and Father had taken a trip to France, it didn’t seem too likely. He heard a low moan over on his right, and slowly sitting up, opened his eyes to the horrific scene.

The vague shape of something that might have once been a car was hardly recognizable in the charred remains on the other side of the road. Of more concern to Touya was the sight of a blood-covered Hikaru, who’d feebly managed to prop himself up against an old oak tree. Akira scrambled over to Hikaru on his hand and knees, not bothering to try to right himself.

“Are you alight?” Touya leaned in to inspect the source of the blood. It was a small cut, but deep, just under the hairline. One side of Hikaru’s bangs was matted with blood, but the wound seemed to have stopped flowing.

Shindo hadn’t responded to his question, but was looking at him peculiarly. After a moment he let loose a peal of strange, loud laughter. It chilled Touya, not just because it was inappropriate, but because he sounded completely insane.

“Sorry, Touya. I was…It was…I couldn’t…” Hikaru was looking towards the burnt out wreck on the other side of the road.

“Probably dead as soon as we hit. It’s too bad I couldn’t stop it from burning. I…just couldn’t anymore…” Hikaru looked back to Akira, his eyes shimmered on the verge of tears.

Touya couldn’t have stopped himself if he’d wanted to. He threw himself on top of Hikaru, wrapping his arms around him tightly. For a moment everything was fine, until Akira shifted slightly, jarring Hikaru’s left leg. Hikaru screamed loudly, but quickly buried his face on Touya’s shoulder. The muffled sound ceased and Touya gently let go and moved back—down to Shindo’s feet. He carefully eased up the baggy garment, exposing the swollen purple flesh beneath.

“I couldn’t really feel anything at the time. I just had to get out.You were there and I—“

There were already tears of pain in the corners of Hikaru’s eyes as he started to shake, and more streamed down his face. He began that strange, haunting laugh again mixed with the tears.

The laughing stopped. “I didn’t think you were going to wake up,” he said in a trembling whisper. He pointed over near where Touya had been laying. It was Touya’s black leather travel bag he’d had with him in the car. “You wouldn’t let go of it. Part of the strap was caught on the front seat—I finally got it loose and pulled you out. When I got across the road I felt your body relax—you dropped it and I put you down. But then you wouldn’t move and you didn’t hear me. You were so cold…” he started to sob softly—the tears had never stopped.

“He thought I was dead. I don’t have a single scratch on me and he probably hurt himself more trying to help me. Useless…I’ve been completely useless.”

Akira walked over to retrieve the bag—it was completely intact, just like it’s owner. He sat down on Hikaru’s right, and retrieved a bottle of water and white linen handkerchief from the bag.

Hikaru took it from him, finally calming himself enough for the simple task. He drank probably a little too quickly and a little too deeply, but seemed to feel better all the same. He handed the bottle back to Akira.

Touya pressed the white handkerchief to the mouth of the bottle, tipping a little of the liquid onto it. He tried to clean a little of the dried blood away from Hikaru’s forehead, but succeeded only in liquefying it and smearing it around. When he went back for a second go on the bottle Hikaru put his hand on Akira to stop him.

Touya was about to protest when Shindo spoke, “There isn’t any more water in that bag is there?”

Akira looked decidedly depressed, but Hikaru smiled slightly. “I haven’t seen anyone else on the road lately, but since the tracks are out people should be coming by right? You should go to find help.”

“I’m supposed to leave you here? I can’t Hi—Shindo. It could be dangerous for you to be out here alone.”

“I can’t get up Touya—I’m not sure how I managed to drag myself this far. I’ll just stay here—it’ll be okay.”

Akira narrowed his eyes, “I’m not going to leave you behind. You know there could be wild animals out here, and I’m sure once the smell from the fire dies out they’ll be dying to know where the blood smell is coming from.”

Hikaru looked away from Akira’s eyes, it was a challenge he couldn’t face. After a long silence he spoke softly, “I don’t think I’ll make it very far. I’m sorry, but there isn’t anything else I can do…” he trailed off, his eyes beginning to tear up again.

“Stop acting like your going to die! How can you give up after everything you’ve been through? I thought you wanted to keep playing Go no matter what? And I—I’m supposed to go on like I’d never known you? I can’t accept that, and I won’t let you get away from me. Not like this.No way.”

Hikaru had seen those eyes many times before. He knew he was going—even if it meant Touya had to drag him behind him all the way to Tokyo.

It was a precarious balancing act to get Hikaru upright—half leaning on Touya and half on his right leg.

His skin is clammy and he’s covered in a film of cold sweat. I think he might have some sort of infection too. I know one thing for sure, if I’d left him here he’d never have survived.”

It was good that Hikaru weighed a great deal less than Akira had assumed, but it was slow going all the same. Hikaru was putting most of his weight on Akira with one arm draped over his shoulder, using his good leg to help move them along and wobbling each step of the way.

Hikaru felt like he was on fire, and every step made him dizzier. Earlier he’d believed that surely someone would come along, someone would see them. Also earlier, if he’d been a little more alert he might have noticed they were no longer on the main road. Apparently the driver had decided they needed to take the scenic route. He had a flash of anger, then guilt at trying to blame a dead man for the way things had gone. He wanted to stop, to sleep, to forget, to do anything else than take another step. He wasn’t sure most of the time whether he was really walking, or even if he was still conscious—he couldn’t feel either of his legs any more. I don’t know if I can hold onto you for much longer…

A sign marking < Kozuata-mura 4K and ^ Kurozu-cho 30K was of brief inspiration to Akira. If they could just make it four kilometers there might be hospital, or at least transportation to one. The inspiration was very brief indeed. They’d only made it about one kilometer at best, and Hikaru’s condition was rapidly deteriorating. His skin was pale and clammy, his wobbling steps each one slower than the last. They had rested every now and then, Hikaru grabbing on with both arms and laying still against him. This wasn’t very restful for Akira, having to support all of the weight on his neck but it was the only way. If he’d let Hikaru down to the ground, he’d surely not be able to get him up again. At their last stop Hikaru had started to fade out, breathing shallowly and barely keeping his eyes open.

“It feels nice. Your skin is like stone, the way it pulls the heat out of me,” Hikaru’s voice could only manage a raspy whisper.

“I’m glad you feel better at all. I-I don’t mind this feeling either. It won’t be far now so just hold on a little longer.”

With this Hikaru’s eyes regarded Akira strangely and sadly. For a fleeting moment he wished he’d said something more, but he had no time to ponder it as Hikaru’s lips pressed against his. The surprise had overwhelmed any enjoyment of the moment that he would have cherished any other time.

“I’m sorry. I-I know I always find a way to disappoint you somehow… Sorry…really…” Hikaru’s body slackened beneath Akira’s arms. He was still barely breathing but his eyes were now closed, his right leg starting to go out from underneath them.

“Hikaru? You have to wake up! I can’t hold you here alone. Please?” For the first time during the entire ordeal, Akira began to cry. “Please?! I can’t hold you much longer—please?! Hikaru?! Shindo?! Wake up! I can’t—! I love you so please…please…”

It was useless; he’d begun to sink down towards the ground with Hikaru. His salty tears blinded him; so much so he’d nearly missed the approaching headlights, and hopefully, their salvation.

"Bastard." It had been hours and Akira was still angry. On the one hand of course he was grateful--Hikaru would have died if they hadn't been given a ride. But on the other, the way the man had acted... What could there be to be afraid of in a small town like Kozuata-mura? Granted the doctor was kind of creepy...

"But he still didn't need to strand us here!" He'd refused to help the doctor move Hikaru, and then took off like a bat out of hell. Touya sighed, "The minshuku and the hospital are the only places with phones, and the lines are down until somebody decides to come fix them. The doctor's got the only car around here, and he needs it in case there are any accidents. I don't even want to think about how long it will be until we get out of here. I doubt anyone even knows we're missing."

Akira paced up and down the tatami mats of the little room, his steps wearing them with each repetition."Maybe we should have stayed at the hospital. The doctor said it was OK, and you still haven't woken up yet..." He sighed again, "That hospital. I wouldn't even call it a hospital, most doctor's offices are bigger." The doctor himself had made Touya very uncomfortable. He'd had an odd sheen to his skin, and his eyes weren't quite the right shape. Maybe he was only half-Japanese, or maybe something else all together. "What was his name? Watanabe? Tanaka? Something pretty common. The skin and the eyes..." There'd been something familiar yet repulsive about them, "...and what the truck driver said..."

The driver had insisted on going to Kurozu-cho, though he'd already told Akira there was a hospital in Kozuata-mura, and even though Hikaru would never have made it there alive. Akira had been persuasive through his fatigue and fury, and gotten his way in the end.

The driver himself had looked sick when he pulled up in front of the tiny building. "Some places, some things should be left in the past.Don't tell me you weren't warned."

"The past? This place is like something out of a history book." He stopped his pacing. He was tired of standing, tired of thinking, tired of most everything when he sat down next to the bed. He leaned in and whispered, "Can you hear me at all?"

There was no response, but Akira could feel the heat off of Hikaru's skin and hear his quiet, regular breaths."You're really infuriating you know. Kissing me like that--I don't understand you at all. I don't even know if I've ever seen the real you. Why did you do that to me? I...There's always been something pushing you towards me, but I've always tried to keep it away. Keep you away. The more I try to focus on something else, the more I end up thinking of you. And I've been ignoring you lately, being colder to you even though you've done nothing wrong. I don't want you to think I hate you, I never have. I'm sorry things had to be this way, and I'm sorry I don't know why I'm in love with you. I can't help it, and I won't try to change it anymore. But still, why did you do it? I know what it meant now, Hikaru, when you looked at me that way--you could see what I was trying to hide from you. But were you trying to make me feel better--to die and not make me worry about it anymore? Or did you really mean it?"

Akira laid down his on his side by the futon, bringing his face close to the sleeping boy. "Because I do--I love you." He was crying again, a few errant tears wetting the pillow by Hikaru's head.

"You were listening. I--I think I got one on your face, sorry." Akira moved to wipe away the drop with his thumb, when a hand pushed him down from behind.

"There was an IV in that one," Akira managed to get out as he tried not to panic. He was more or less on top of Hikaru.

"Then you should go to sleep," Hikaru squeezed tighter and Akira gasped softly. "You smell bad."

"I guess it was a lot of work hauling your heavy ass around." Touya tried to sound menacing, but Hikaru was nearly asleep again.

Akira thought Hikaru's lips might have mouthed 'I love you,' before he was out completely. Then, he himself slept for what felt like the first time in years.

Chapter 6

   Hikaru sighed for what must have been the tenth time as he absentmindedly played with Akira's hair. He didn't want to wake Akira up, but he was beginning to reach his limit.

   "I gotta pee!" He tried not to wiggle around too much, but neither stillness nor quiet was something that came to him naturally. He took a deep breath and tried to concentrate more on what he was doing. The strands of Touya's hair glided effortlessly through his fingers, shining with soft iridescence in the late morning light.   "Green and violet and blue and red and I still have to go to the bathroom..."He sighed again, it was pretty, but something that couldn't distract him anymore. Hikaru was still weak, he couldn't just shove Akira off onto the floor--not that he wanted to anyway. It would be criminal to wake him and lose that look of utter contentment that no one but Hikaru had probably ever seen. Or the look that had been there.

   Akira looked uneasy now, his muscles tensed slightly. "A nightmare maybe? I hope it wasn't because of me." He was shaking badly, almost rocking back and forth. Hikaru still might have let him be if he hadn't made an odd gasping, almost choking sound.

   "Akira? Are you alright? Wake up," Hikaru hugged him tighter, calming the tremors.

   "Unh... Hikaru?" His eyes opened a little, and for a moment Touya seemed unsure of where he was.

   "You OK? Was it a strange dream?"

   He shifted uncomfortably, "Yeah. It was one of ones, you know, where you're running in the dark. You can't see what's chasing you, but you go faster and faster because you know that if it catches you..." Akira tried and failed to suppress a shudder. "I didn't want to see that thing..."

   "Thing?" He's not telling me something...

   "Anyway, it was only a dream. What are you squirming around for?"

   Changing the subject? But..."You wouldn't happen to know where they're hiding the toilet would you?" ...I can't take it anymore!

   "I wasn't really paying attention when we got here, but I think it was by the bath." Touya half-smiled, and tried not to laugh at the pained expression on Hikaru's face. "Which, is another thing you could use by the way."

   Hikaru scowled then put an arm around Akira's shoulder to be helped up. "Whatever--you're the one that smells!"

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   "Are you sure about this?" Hikaru winced as Akira pushed the edge of a garbage bag down into the top of his cast. The only thing more uncomfortable than being a naked guy with a cast, is having another naked guy put a trash bag over said cast.

   "Yeah. Then I'll put another over this one and water won't get down in there. Unless you just want to sit around out here while I'm in the bath?"

   Hikaru ran a hand down Akira's neck and trailed off one side down his shoulder. "If you don't want me..."

   Akira trembled and took his hand. "Y-You understand right? I mean..."

   Such sad eyes. "I'm only teasing you, you know." Hikaru smiled as widely as he could, "If you're going to take me seriously all the time you'll be crazy by the end of the week."

   Akira wrapped his arms around him and held on tightly. "Don't. Stop just for a little while, just for now. I'm sorry, I know it's the way you are but right now... Let's just forget about everything for a while." He put his head down on Hikaru's shoulder.

   "This has been really hard on you hasn't it? I mean you weren't hurt, but that only made you feel even worse than you would if you had been. I don't know what to do for you--I feel like I don't know anything about you."

   "You know that I'm in love with you," Akira whispered, trying to block the sensation of being pressed against him this way.

   "That's what I mean. I don't know this person, and I feel awful because of it--"

   "But--"

   "Just listen a minute okay?" He laughed softly, "I know it's probably hard for you to do. I'm not trying to say you've changed, I don't think you have. I'm just don't get things sometimes--you know that. I just wish I could have seen YOU sooner, that's all. I mean, for the longest time I didn't even question the way you looked to me. That's something I should know a little something about, considering the way some people see me. But on some level, I truly didn't want to know--it would be easier to be your opponent that way. I wanted to be respected by you. You could hate me all you wanted, as long as you could respect me at the same time."

   "I guess I understand," Akira looked up into his eyes. "You know I respect you, and love you. I don't want you to apologize to me, or explain anything to me. I only want you to know, I would do anything for you. Anything." The tone in his voice paralyzed Hikaru where he sat.

   "This is what I get for being serious?"

   "What? A bath?" Akira smiled coyly and pushed aside the hair in front of the stitched up gash on Hikaru's forehead. "I don't think you'll have a scar..." He carefully brushed his lips past the outside edge of the stitching, taking advantage of the skin's sensitivity there. He appreciated Hikaru's deep gasp, and felt a little guilty when he pulled Hikaru over to the warm water instead of following up the move.

   Akira should have considered Hikaru wasn't likely to take this as a momentary break--grabbing hold of him and putting his mouth to his ear as soon as they hit the water. He'd have found himself flat on the ground if it had happened out of water, but here floated backwards just a little, pressing himself back against Hikaru. He turned back looking into his eyes and seeing an intense look that was completely unfamiliar to him, knowing in his mind he likely had a similar expression. Akira kissed him as passionately as he could given his inexperience, and tried to keep control as Hikaru's hands swept up and down his body.

   The hands eventually stopped between his legs, and Akira somehow managed to protest, "Wait! Not--AH--not in here!"

   "You don't want me to?"

   "There are probably other people who have to use this water," he said between heavy breaths, "and we have a room..."

   Hikaru looked like he wanted to sprint the whole way, even on a broken leg, "Then let's get the hell out of here!"

Chapter 7

    "Is something wrong, Hikaru? Did you change your mind?" Akira was slightly bemused by how quickly Hikaru's fervor had turned into a rather embarrassed, deer in the headlights look.

    Hikaru shifted a little, pressing himself against Akira and squeezing him tighter, their arms already entwined. "I just don't know what I'm doing..." He kissed Akira's neck softly, and barely brushed his lips against it as he moved to lay his head down on his shoulder.

    "You seemed to be doing well enough a minute ago," Akira's voice rasped a little. He was still hard from the gentle but sure stroking in the water, but he refused to let himself rush in for relief.

    "It isn't the same thing is it? Besides that's something you don't need me for."

    "Maybe..." A strange look passed over Akira's face. He has no idea--that day before we left. It was a good thing no one was home...

    "Akira?"

    He smiled a warm half smile, the one Hikaru always seemed to be unable to turn away from. "Will you look at me? Look into my eyes."

    He gazed up into the warm and determined eyes staring into him and felt his body completely relax. Hikaru laid back on the futon as Akira arched over, straddling him. He was breathing hard and he had an odd sensation in the pit of his stomach, but their eyes were still locked together. Akira traced his fingers at first teasingly over his nipples, then lower and lower--finally grasping Hikaru in the palm of his hand. He slowly began to stroke up and down the thick shaft, sometimes stopping to caress the head with his thumb and forefinger.

    "A-Akira, what are you--" He gasped and closed his eyes, he understood now what he'd been doing to him. It was almost impossible for him to think at all.

    "Please look at me..."

    That whispered voice only made Hikaru harder, but he struggled to obey. His eyes opened wide, and the intensity in his partner's eyes was almost painful. Akira was looking only at him, hearing only his sighs--nothing else existed. He whimpered, trying to hold himself back somehow against the torturous rhythm.

    "Don't try to hold back, I don't want you to." Akira leaned in as far as he could, to see everything in those green eyes that he'd always dreamt of knowing. He gasped himself, feeling his erection press against Hikaru's leg.

    Hikaru felt him there too, and knew he couldn't hold out any longer. He came hard, crying out Akira's name and narrowing his eyes reflexively, but never looking away. Akira kept his hand on him, trying to catch every white droplet as it pulsed forth.

    Hikaru looked at him dazedly, still trying to catch his breath, "Why did you do it? I thought you wanted more than that?"

    "I thought I'd make things a little easier on me."

    "You mean--but I might hurt you."

    "I wasn't sure of what I was doing, but you seemed to like it. And I trust you, so..."

    Hikaru closed his heavy eyelids, and sighed. He still saw those beautiful jeweled eyes in his mind, and knew he'd probably never be able to deny him anything ever again. "Just let me catch my breath a little." It was a bit more than that. Hikaru didn't know if he could get hard again so soon, but as he watched Akira take a stray pearl drop away from his wrist with his tongue, he put the thought to rest rather quickly.

    "I want you to really lean on me--I won't let you hurt your leg worse than it is already." He backed off of Hikaru, using his knees and one arm to hold himself steady. He looked predatory like a jungle cat, even with the tiny bit of fear lurking in the corner of his eyes. Akira held out the liquid covered hand, inviting Hikaru take back what he'd given.

    Hikaru coated a finger and carefully worked his way into his puckered entrance, gliding it in and out wondering at the tightness. Akira was groaning loudly already and it was hard for Hikaru not to laugh at him. He wasn't sure how he was going to be able to get inside of him. Akira had him beat where length was concerned, but Hikaru's girth was almost twice the size of his thickness. He slid another finger inside, trying to widen him further even as his muscles began to tense.

    "Can you relax a little? I'm going to try another one," Hikaru was completely hard again as Akira moaned his assent. The passage was as loose as Hikaru could make it, most of the lubricant already inside.

    "Now, Hikaru--I want you inside," his hand covered Hikaru's penis, and spread the last of the milky liquid down the length of his shaft.

    "Tell me if it hurts..." He circled the outside once then pushed himself inside slowly, pulling back slightly after each advancement.

    Akira grunted and grabbed the cover beneath them, wincing at the pain of the intrusion. Hikaru wanted to massage his back and try to relieve some of the hurt, but he needed both hands to keep himself steady. Akira had begun to tremble beneath him, and the loud cry issuing from his throat was far from encouraging. Hikaru pulled himself all the way out, unwilling to hurt him anymore.

    Akira pressed back against him, wriggling back and forth to get him back inside. "It hurt more than I thought it would, but I can't let you stop now. It started to feel nice..." His panting, uneven voice encouraged Hikaru to plunge deeper inside.

    The tightness was becoming unbearable for Hikaru, he was moving faster and deeper, Akira's movements intensifying the feeling. Akira was crying out again, louder than before this time from pleasure. Hikaru needed him to come, and chanced loosing his balance to touch Akira's throbbing flesh.

    One soft caress was all it took, and he erupted. It was a low-pitched almost scream as he was gone completely, the muscles in his ass contracting, wringing Hikaru dry inside of him.

    Akira crumpled flat to the floor, pulling Hikaru down with him. Hikaru managed pull out fairly easily, and then enclosed the other boy in his arms. He buried his face in Akira's sweet-smelling hair, and listened to his light, airy gasping still coming at regular intervals. Hikaru was a little worried about him, Akira was still trembling and panting heavily, while he felt strangely calm though thoroughly drained.

    "Akira, are you alright?" he whispered, pausing to lay a kiss behind his ear. He looked back at Hikaru, his eyes hooded, obviously still trying to catch his breath. Letting an arm go, Hikaru wove his fingers through the slick strands of Akira's hair, intent on soothing him instead of continuing his early morning absentminded fondling. He said the only thing he could think of to say: "You're beautiful. So much so it's scary." It was something he meant truly, and couldn't imagine saying to any other person.

    "I'll won't let you go, as long as I live. E-Even if you don't want to be near me, I won't stop. I...realize that I should have said something to you about this sooner, but I understand myself well enough to know that I can't change my mind once I've decided..."

    "I guess this means your OK then?" Hikaru grinned widely.

    "Do you really understand what I mean, Hikaru?" His voice sounded a little sad.

    "I guess everything has been happening really fast, and I haven't done any thinking really--not that I think far into the future to begin with. I seem to be slow
with a lot of things, and something like this..." He wasn't saying the right things--though he wasn't completely sure of Akira's intention he could tell that much.

    "When I started to play Go, even though I was very young, I knew that it was what I was meant to do with my life. I may not always realize things that instantly, but for the first time in years I felt that absolute certainty again. You're the person that I was meant for." Akira seemed to have finally relaxed, his heartbeat slowing back to it's normal pace, though his face still had a soft pink flush of color.

    "That's what I mean by slow, I didn't even play goat all until recently. I wish I could be as sure about things as you are..."I wouldn't have even met you without Sai, so how can I...

    "Do you trust my feelings?"

    "I believe in you."

    "Do you love me?" His eyes glimmered in the light and Hikaru could feel a lingering loneliness waiting to be dissolved.

    "I love Touya Akira," he clasped Akira's hand and held it over his heart, "my most important rival, smarter than I could ever be, prettier than anyone I've ever met--even though his eyes are so sad."

    "Then I suppose I'm worrying about something that doesn't matter," tears shone brightly in his eyes. He gave a short, faintly annoyed laugh, "Damn you Shindo, I've cried enough already!" Akira grabbed onto him, holding as tightly as he could. "Can we stay like this for awhile?"

        Hikaru merely smiled, they both already knew the answer.

Chapter 8

    "Why are you squirming around? Do you have to go to the bathroom again?"

    "No," Hikaru glared slightly at Akira for the sarcastic tone in his voice, "but I'm starving! I really didn't want to say anything because I didn't want you to get up, but my stomach is getting kinda loud about it."

    "Oh! So that's what that noise was--I thought I was hearing things!" He chewed his bottom lip for a moment, thinking, then sighed. "We need to go and see that doctor again later. I was hoping to stay in here a little longer, but you do need to be checked out. I hope I haven't been over exerting you," Akira smiled warmly.

    "I doubt most guys that almost die feel this good!" Hikaru's stomach rumbled loudly, and his face flushed a bright crimson. "Except for that anyway."

    Akira laughed at him and stood up. He pushed back a sliding door that normally concealed the futon during the daytime, and pulled out a folded, metal wheelchair. "This was the only one they had. I hope we can trade it in for some crutches later, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you."

    Hikaru shrugged, then drug himself closer to the antique appliance.

    "You want me to help you up?"

    "Nah, I can do it," Hikaru hauled himself up with little trouble.

    Akira wheeled Hikaru to the kitchen, only to be met by a cold stare by the old woman who ran the minshuku. Touya shivered involuntarily, he'd been too exausted to notice when they arrived how much she reminded him of the doctor. Oddly rounded eyes, an almost greasy if not slimy quality to her skin, and a sense of something familiar that he couldn't identify. Hikaru seemed to take no notice of Akira's sudden tenseness, or of the woman's gaze. He cheerfully requested breakfast or lunch--whichever had more food.

    "Breakfast is at 8am, dinner is at 8pm. Your food has been left out today, in future it will not be. If you'll excuse me, I'm a busy woman," she sounded stern though her voice had an odd timbre to it. She pushed past Akira, and went out the front door roughly sliding it closed behind her.

    Akira glared harshly at the closed door. "Nobody'd stay here voluntarily--even if it wasn't in the middle of nowhere."

    Hikaru had already rolled himself to the table, and was examining it's contents. He determined pretty quickly that it wasn't ramen, and also just as quickly that he was hungry enough that he didn't give a damn.

    "Is that a salad? I guess those are mushrooms..." Akira couldn't finish what he was saying, Hikaru was gagging violently and spitting out the piece he'd tasted.

    "It's disgusting! What the hell is this?!" He choked down some of the lukewarm water that sat in a glass beside his plate, but the putrid taste of the unidentified food seemed to cling to his tongue. He continued to cough, eventually settling on an expression of resigned disgust.

    "It's really that bad?"

    Hikaru raised an eyebrow, "You eat it."

    Touya hesitated a moment, then picked up a piece from Hikaru's plate. He took the smallest bite he could, and chewed slowly. Hikaru waited for the slightest reaction but it never came.

    "It doesn't really taste like anything."

    "You can't be serious! Were you born without taste buds?! I don't know what that is--I was thinking dead slugs, but I doubt even they'd taste that awful!"

    "It's not like I said it to piss you off. At worst it tastes like a really bland mushroom you might pick up at a fast food place. We can't be picky, it's not like we're paying for any of this--at least eat some of the lettuce."

    "No thanks," he voice was flat and somewhat challenging.

    "G--" Akira stopped himself and took a deep breath. He was getting much too upset about something so petty. If Hikaru doesn't eat it's his own fault if he gets hungry, I don't have much of an appetite anymore anyway. "Let's just go by the hospital OK?"

    "I wonder if they have those sugar-free suckers in a basket like they do at home."

    "Isn't that the dentist?"

    "I don't know. There's this office near one of the Go salons I go to. It sits in a chair right by the door, so I usually grab a big handful and stuff 'em in my bag when I walk by."

    Shindo looked so serious Akira had to laugh. "Well, don't set your hopes to high." He ruffled Hikaru's hair playfully.

    "Don't do that," he whined, not to convincingly.

    "If you can play with my hair, I can play with yours," his chest rose and fell as he stifled another laugh. Akira pushed Hikaru towards the door, and hoped they'd be gone for a short time.  I doubt we'll be able to be together like this so much in the future. I'm going to make the most our time together.

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It's kinda shorter than I wanted, but I figure everyone who didn't read the last pr0n chapter would be getting pretty restless by now. Question: I've been thinking about not naming the doctor or the old lady, but do you think seeing The Doctor or The Old Lady would be more distracting than anything else? Anyway, anyone who doesn't do onsite feedback is welcome to email me!